how about a resolution? nah...
we've all made it through another year and into a brand new decade. if you broke a mirror in 2004 then it's time to rejoice as your bad luck is finally over!it's at this time each year (give or take a few days) that everyone makes a resolution for the new year. did i make one? yes! i'll tell you what it is later on in this incredibly insightful blog. according to the 100% truthful and accurate research tool called the internet, the most popular NYE resolutions are as follows...10. Get Organised
9. Help Others
8. Learn Something New
7. Get Out of Debt
6. Quit Drinking
5. Enjoy Life More
4. Quit Smoking
3. Tame the Bulge
2. Get Fit
1. Spend More Time with Family & FriendsLet's explore these a little more, shall we? PS. if you have made a resolution that is listed above, you are about to get hammered - so you might want to stop reading OR change your resolution quick sticks!
9. Help Others
8. Learn Something New
7. Get Out of Debt
6. Quit Drinking
5. Enjoy Life More
4. Quit Smoking
3. Tame the Bulge
2. Get Fit
1. Spend More Time with Family & FriendsLet's explore these a little more, shall we? PS. if you have made a resolution that is listed above, you are about to get hammered - so you might want to stop reading OR change your resolution quick sticks!
10. Get Organised
LAME. who on earth says "this year i want to be more organised". buy a diary or hire an assistant and shut the fuck up. get a new resolution, this one is lame and can be solved with a quick trip to officeworks
9. Help Others
cute and sweet, but not realistic. This one is sure to fail. Sure, you might throw a dollar into a buskers guitar case, but it wont be long till you see a homeless person take a crap in an alley in the city. what are you going to do then? get a poop bag and wipe it up? no. so get a new resolution or carry some shit bags and air freshener with you for the next 364 days
8. Learn Something New
ugh. another lame thing. usually this is learnt whilst hugging the bowl on jan 1. "yep, i learnt last night that body shots of tequila mixed with milk make me sick". again another lame wasted resolution that is going to last a few days and then you need to think of another one...
7. Get Out of Debt
remember, if you have to ask how much something is, then you cant afford it. ps. who ISN'T in debt? furthermore as soon as you are out of it, isn't it fun to get back into it?
6. Quit Drinking
how lame. you may as well quit having friends while you are there too
5. Enjoy Life More
oh, how sweet and cutsie. but how the fuck do you enjoy life more? if you aren't enjoying it so far then you need to shut up and stop making stupid resolutions like this. if anyone told me that was their new years resolution, i would have to kick them in the vagina and/or penis. it's the worst one thus far.
4. Quit Smoking
yeah i can understand this one... but don't smoke a carton of winnie blues on NYE and then stop. your lungs will hate you just as much as the people at the smokemart down the road from you. it's not realistic to stop on NYE either, stop at a time that is good for you, not a time that happens to welcome in a new year as well
3. Tame the Bulge
does this have something to do with a penis? if not then tame it... if it IS to do with wang, then please, do not tame it. that would be tragic.
2. Get Fit
stop reading blogs online and go for a run! ha. but running is boring and porn blogs are so much more fun! aren't they! yes!
1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends
lame. and this is number 1? if you don't spend time with family and friends then reality would probably have it that you are a loser and no one wants to hang out with you, so don't make a resolution like this... it's not THEM it's YOU!
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i hope you have read this and thought of a new one for 2011. my resolution last year was to eliminate things that didn't make me happy - which i did. not like killing things, but just adjusting my attitude that if i wasn't happy with something then to get rid of it or change it. don't whinge about it, because trust me, no one listens!
so what's my resolution for 2011? well some dirty hetro said it to me at a pub the other night and like all good things in this world, i stole it from him
"if you cant fuck it, kill it"
happy new year everyone
aza
x
