aza says...

in the last 12 months, i've realised that i'm a lucky person in more deeper ways than i had ever thought or imagined.

it's become apparent to me that i'm a very rare type of individual who actually knows what they want in life. i know what i want in my career, my love life and my finances too (i know, surprisingly debt is NOT one of these goals)

how come there are so many people who don't know what they want? even when i go shopping, i'm not one to browse, i know what i need to get, i then go and get it... is that odd?

i've known from quite a young age what i've wanted to do with my career and i'm the closest i've ever been. it hasn't been an easy ride to get here but i've definitely put my all to get where i am today. sure, there is some fine tuning to go on this goal, but i know that it will happen, because i'm focussed and i know what it is that i want!

when it comes to relationships, far too often do i meet, speak to or hear about people who have no idea what they want. why are there so many people with that problem? when i think about what i want, the list is quite simple really. to love and to be loved... isn't that what we all want? so why do i constantly get told "um, i don't know what i want". is that just a cop out excuse because suddenly they don't want me? or is it really as it seems?

either way, i struggle with it, time and time again.

as the water slowly rolls of my ducks back (bad pun i know) i'll continue to search to love and to be loved... because ultimately in life there aint much more that matters, is there?

...oh wait, where does vodka and porn fit into it all? i'll have to get back to you on that one!

“Never let a problem to be solved become more important than the person to be loved.”

aza
x

go germany! a very catchy tune and this little lady is only 19

i'm sure when i was 19, i could have won eurovision too... the only thing i didn't have was a funky ass accent!

aza
x

it's been a while since i did this. for those of you who aren't all that familiar with a 'line by line' blog; it's where i check out the lyrics of a song and then i judge those lyrics...

in todays episode, how can i go past some silly bitch with a "$" in her name?

Ke$hA - You're Love is my Drug

Maybe I need some rehab, or maybe just need some sleep
I've got a sick obsession, I'm seeing it in my dreams

saying that you need rehab OR sleep is a little dramatic... it's like a diabetic person saying "maybe i need insulin or maybe i need a tim tam". i'd suggest you work out what is going on in your head then seek the medical help that is required

saying that you have a sick obsession and you're seeing 'it' in your dreams would suggest that maybe you are eating dinner too soon before you go to sleep

I'm looking down every alley, I'm making those desperate calls
Im staying up all night hoping, Hit my head against the walls

what exactly are you looking down the alleys for? do you need a dumpster bin or something? are you moving house and have a lot of junk to throw out? or maybe (considering you are having issues with sleeping and seeing 'it' in your dreams, that maybe you have a body you need to dispose of?

IF it *is* a body, then i would suggest that you should probably stay up all night long and bang your head against the walls... dear me Ke$hA - you are really messed up and we are only a couple of lines into this song. what on earth do your parent's think?

What you've got boy is hard to find
Think about it all about it all the time
I'm all strung up my heart is fried
I just cant get you off my mind

DIRTY BITCH!

ps. a fried heart is something that you would usually find at KFC. it doesn't belong in a song...

pps. if the 'boy whom you cant get off your mind' is anything like the 'boys' i know... then you don't want them on your mind

Because your love, your love, your love, is my drug
Your love your love your love
I said your love, your love, your love, is my drug
Your love your love your love

i should have thought... she's fucking singing about LOVE. how dull. why don't you sing about a double ended dildo or something? maybe then your song wouldn't be sitting at #3?

Won't listen to any advice, mamma's telling me to think twice
But left to my own devices i'm addicted its a crisis!

suddenly she's used the word crisis and i think i like the song lyrics now. if only she sung it like 'cry-seas'! again, she wouldn't be sitting at #3

My friends think I've gone crazy, my judgment is getting kinda hazy
My status is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a love sick crackhead

YOU HAVE FRIENDS? do they have funky names like $hAnIqUa?

also, when you say that your 'status' is going to be affected, do you mean your Facebook Status? surely you are in control of that, unless you are smoking too much crack!

so in wraping this abortion of a song up, i think it's clear to see that Ke$hA has issues with drugs, taking advice, love and boys

and your print of difference is?????

until next time i rip someone i don't know apart, take care

a$a
x

for those of you that know me, i'm a pretty complex person, but deep down all i want is what everyone else wants and that's to be love and to be loved

tonight i've learnt (the hard way as usual) that the vibe that i'm giving off to people that i meet, isn't the best

yeah, i've been burnt, haven't we all? it seems to be a long time ago now, however i still seem to put 'the guard' up, sometimes without even noticing. it's like that thing that is in your throat that automatically flicks over when it's food coming down your gob and not air

believe it or not, i also get really shy when i meet someone i like, often giving off the vibe that i'm not interested, when in fact that it's totally the opposite. i also suck at making the first move (unless my blood is at least 42% vodka)

put that all together and clearly i'm fucked. hence the position i'm in with life at the moment

'the ego' that i have, isn't unlike the ego that we all have. i believe that everyone has an ego and it's not a bad thing, it's how you control that ego that is very important. i believe that i control mine well, i'm not big headed, i'm down to earth, not stuck up in any way, just a normal guy... so i *think*?

so which one is it causing all my drama? which one do i need to tame? which one needs a good kick in the balls? once this is decided, how do i do it? maybe i need to watch 'the man with 2 brains' again to see how transplants actually work...

too many questions *sips on vodka*

let's hope that all is not lost in my current situation, let's hope, like many of my friends, that someone whom i really like can finally crack the shell and get to know the real me...

i'll leave this blog with a quote from LAISE PASCAL. i have no idea who the hell that is, but he/she sure knows how to sum up all of the above in just a few words...

We must learn our limits. We are all something, but none of us are everything

aza
x

it seems that any body of water in america has coins in it... people love to throw a coin in to make a wish!

so, why not follow a trend and clog up the filters of some fountains in vegas that have cost millions of dollars to build?

the other day when we were at the Bellagio, i was standing there for what seemed like FOREVER trying to think of a wish to make before throwing my penny in the lake

it's clear that my luck isn't on the poker machines here... silly "slut" machines! (no that wasn't a typo)

my issue was that i wanted to think of a wish that would be a tad tangible and not something like "i would like $1,000,000 to appear in my wallet". i tried my hardest to make my wish something heartfelt and related to my ongoing happiness when i return back home

of course i'm not going to tell you what i wished for, but in a roundabout way it was kind of 2 wishes in one... i asked for the "main" wish and then i also wished that if i wasn't to get that, then i just wish to be happy and content with whatever it is that is left of the situation that i'm trying so desperately to tip-toe around

i do strongly believe in karma though. i'm a good person and i always do the right by people and just want the right done back to me. when i write this, it seems so simple, but as time goes on i realise that it's not all that easy!

so...
have you ever made a wish?
has it come true?

aza
x

had a bit of a reflective time on the beach today... couple hours alone does wonders for the mind!

i've previously blogged about 'the secret' and 'putting things out there into the universe...' blah blah blah

i'd like to warn anyone who has or wants to try to send into the universe the following message 'getting a root'

i'm almost 100% certain that this is why i have had to have root canal... 'tis the wrong kind of root universe! i think that in future i will be a little more specific!