aza says...

i cant believe that we are in the 3rd month of the year already. for those of you playing at home, that is 1/4 into 2011. not to mention that we are actually 1/2 way through this month already!

doesn't it feel just like yesterday we were making stupid resolutions that have more than likely been broken by now? not me though, my resolution will probably stick with me for life (see previous blog post, scroll down you lazy shit, i'm not going to give you a link)

so, how is your 2011 going so far? mine looks promising, but i still cant shake this feeling of being in a rut. it's like i'm in a ditch and i'm almost to the top of it, but then i grab onto what i think is a rock, but it's a bit of hard mud that crumbles in my hand and i slide back down to where i was just before i decided to climb again

whoa. that example was deep. i hope you followed it. i got kinda lost myself.

i know that this has a lot to do with the pressure i put on myself, which will definitely never change. it's inbuilt in my brain, my tiny little man brain.

i really do have a feeling in my waters though, that things will change and they are going to change quickly and for the better. i'm absolutely ready for change, ready to take a plunge, ready to grow. i've been waiting for this for a long time. what this change is and how it will be delivered to me is still yet to be determined.

i'm getting myself out a bit more, lots on in sad old adelaide at the moment so it makes it easier to do things. last night i even got home AFTER 3am... i think it was about 3:04am or something. it was still after. i must have sounded like the biggest drunk in the world coming home. for some reason we have a fan holding the front wooden door open. how about a doorstop? no, lets use a fucking fan. i tripped over that in the pitch black of the night (actually the early morning) and then said 'fuck' in what i thought was a whisper, but apparently it wasn't.

i did drink, only had 4 vodka sodas. being on this diet (yes i'm still on it) means that it doesn't take too much to get me pissy. but keep in mind that these 4 wod-ka's (it's how the russians say it) were over a period of 7 hours. ha!

the diet is going well, i'm actually allllllmost at the 1/2 way mark in my 20kg goal. that's only in a month i've lost over 8.5kgs! i'm very happy about this. finally i have been able to put my stubborn attitude into something pro-active. i've not strayed from the diet once deliberately... however the other night i ate pork, which is apparently a no no. not a HUGE deal, but it's a fatty meat so i should stay away from it. to me, meat is meat?!

so i have 123 days left on the diet, to lose the other 12ish kgs... who knows, i might even lose some more if i can really be bothered! i got told last night that i was looking awesome and that is a good feeling :)

people aren't positive enough and it shits me. i do a lot to be positive to other people. for instance i've just obtained a new car loan with a new bank and the chick was amazing, such a sweetheart and she really went out of her way for me... so i bought her a box of chocolates. having them sit on my desk for a whole weekend was HUGE willpower for me. but i did it. i told her that she must enjoy them on my behalf but if i ask her about them, the she has to tell me that they were just revolting. being the good lass that she is, she hid them immediately and i've never heard of said chocolates...

i'm hoping all this positive karma will slap me hard real soon. slap me all over like i've been a good boy!

kinky! who would have thought?

aza
x

i'm actually hoping that in this instance it *wont* kill me. don't get me wrong, i'm quite content with things in my life (well at least i'm trying to pretend that valentines day didn't actually exist this year), i feel that i need to be doing something and gaining some forward momentum

i'm the kind of person who needs to be moving, on the go, something happening... at the moment i feel that this is not the case. sometimes though, i do realise that it *may* be happening and i don't actually know it. for instance work, who knows when a promotion is around the corner, or love, who knows when some awesome person is about to come into my life and make me ever so happy

HA - love. seriously. it better happen. my eggs aren't getting any younger!

so, in a time like this, i have decided to actually do something, set a goal, achieve something. a thing that i have total control over.

diet.

yep. this is my 'thing' at the moment. i'm on a diet. 7 days down and already lost 6kg. my goal is to lose 20kg before i turn 30 in july and i'm pretty sure that i can do it. no, i know i can do it.

i'm not unhappy or unhealthy at all, but i do think that this would be a nice way to see in a new and VERY significant decade of my life. 30. yikes.

time to grow up.

nah, fuck that.

i'm really concious though of continuing a social life. i don't really have much of one, but i certainly do not need a diet to kill enjoying time with mates. i have noticed however that whilst chosing food at a resturant or when out (this has only happened 3 times in the last 7 days) that i'm looking at the menu and saying 'oooh, that sounds good. oh. cant have that, cant eat that, cant even smell that' etc...

nothing annoys me more than that. oh wait, lots of things annoy me than that. like vegetarians who constantly go on about being a vegetarian and then they eat fish or chicken. attention seeking shits!

wow... now that i think about it, lots of things annoy me. like mosquitos at 3am or a neighbour screaming 'call the police, he's trying to rape me' at 3am. they both really suck the blood out of you. however i digress...

this is my first diet. i've never seen the point of them and have NEVER been interested in any of them. this one however, seemed ok to me and so far so good. good thing is that i'm really fucking stubborn... and now it's out there in the universe (like the motherfucking secret ha) I HAVE TO DO IT!

i've started personal training - bought 10 sessions. one down last week, 45 minutes and came home and wanted to barf - not my idea of fun, but i'll get there. toughen the fuck up aza!

so i'll keep y'all update on the progress i'm sure

did i just use the word "y'all"... who am i? ellen degeneres! shit no.

cross your bits for me... until they go blue and fall off ;)

aza
x

it's at this time each year (give or take a few days) that everyone makes a resolution for the new year. did i make one? yes! i'll tell you what it is later on in this incredibly insightful blog. according to the 100% truthful and accurate research tool called the internet, the most popular NYE resolutions are as follows...

10. Get Organised
9. Help Others
8. Learn Something New
7. Get Out of Debt
6. Quit Drinking
5. Enjoy Life More
4. Quit Smoking
3. Tame the Bulge
2. Get Fit
1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends

Let's explore these a little more, shall we? PS. if you have made a resolution that is listed above, you are about to get hammered - so you might want to stop reading OR change your resolution quick sticks!

it's become apparent to me that i'm a very rare type of individual who actually knows what they want in life. i know what i want in my career, my love life and my finances too (i know, surprisingly debt is NOT one of these goals)

how come there are so many people who don't know what they want? even when i go shopping, i'm not one to browse, i know what i need to get, i then go and get it... is that odd?

i've known from quite a young age what i've wanted to do with my career and i'm the closest i've ever been. it hasn't been an easy ride to get here but i've definitely put my all to get where i am today. sure, there is some fine tuning to go on this goal, but i know that it will happen, because i'm focussed and i know what it is that i want!

when it comes to relationships, far too often do i meet, speak to or hear about people who have no idea what they want. why are there so many people with that problem? when i think about what i want, the list is quite simple really. to love and to be loved... isn't that what we all want? so why do i constantly get told "um, i don't know what i want". is that just a cop out excuse because suddenly they don't want me? or is it really as it seems?

either way, i struggle with it, time and time again.

as the water slowly rolls of my ducks back (bad pun i know) i'll continue to search to love and to be loved... because ultimately in life there aint much more that matters, is there?

...oh wait, where does vodka and porn fit into it all? i'll have to get back to you on that one!

“Never let a problem to be solved become more important than the person to be loved.”

aza
x

far too much of what i do on a day to day basis is on that phone. wondering why there was no battery left, i finally worked out that since i'm not getting any phone reception in the city (go figure) my phone was constantly searching for signal and by doing this it drained it's own battery. pretty much iPhone suicide if you ask me

so, there i am, waiting on the million dollar leather couch at "BV" and my phone does the 'spinning wheel of death thing' and goes totally blank. i desperately press on the power button and it comes up with the 'empty battery, so you need to charge it you retard' symbol

of course i was actually waiting for a call from my mate to tell me where we were going to meet... suddenly, i'm slightly of freaking out and running through my options in my head. at the same time i started to think, what would happen if i got locked in here overnight, would it be like the movie 'manequin'? would i be drinking cocktails and raiding the peter alexander store with my new plastic friends that only came to life around me?

then 2 things happened, reality kicked in and so did my impeccable taste for decent movies so i had to scrap that idea quick sticks. i had to think of a plan to get in contact with my friend, to let her know where i was.

idea one didn't last long (i would definitely get kicked out for making smoke signals) and idea two didn't last long either (i didn't have the budget for any cans and string), so what next?

it took me some time to realise that all of my 'sensible' options involved a pay phone. considering i don't know ANY ONE'S number off by heart anymore, the payphone was pretty much useless to me. not to mention that i didn't have any change on me and that the phone would also be rife with germs from having had other peoples ears attached to it at some point. all of a sudden i was totally disgusted with the pay phone. i truly hated that pay phone, it really had fucked up EVERYTHING!

to cut a long story short, i just sat there and my mate eventually rocked up - we went shopping and she had an iPhone charger at her place - so the night wasn't a total abortion after all

i have too much faith in that phone. numbers, calendar, photos, maps, songs, pretty much everything! having the battery die on me turned me into a totally useless being, unable to properly think...

..."what the hell do i do next"

the answer to that question is...

..."there is an app for that..."!

aza
x

well, kind of...

sometimes i'm told things that are so juicy and awesome, that i actually HAVE to tell someone, for my own sanity. it's never the same person mind you. depending on the details of the gossip, i chose my friend wisely and tell them under the "if you tell anyone, i'll have to kill you" oath

take for instance today. i was told some juicy AND awesome gossip that i need to keep secret. however i chose wisely and told one dear friend who will also share the same passion and excitement about the news, however i know that he/she can keep her mouth shut

so yet again, you are witness to another blog containing my ramblings, justifying to myself why i have done something

i figure if i'm willing to share this knowledge then it mustn't be all that bad at all

aza
x

you should know that as i've made it pretty obvious - yeah, i'm one of *those* people!

i started work today and had to make sure that everyone in our beige office knew that was the case, so i sent this email around to all staff

Dear Staff,

I can confirm that today is my birthday

Please leave any gifts OUTSIDE the production door as I do not wish to speak to anyone today unless the gift is cash

Many thanks

Aza

thankfully at least one other staff member here has a sense of humour and only a couple of hours later, i stepped outside my studio to find this

birthdays are fun so i'm going to make mine last a while - possibly a month i think...

the next birthday is the big 3-0... and yes, i've confirmed with dad today that it will be spent in las vegas in the executive suite at Trump Towers... so who's in?

thanks for all the birthday love everyone!

aza
x

"If you don't want the world to know, don't post it on Facebook you bell ends. It's really not that hard"

such an angry little man can make such a valid point!

i don't know about you, but i'm pretty strict with my facebook friends list. you'd actually be shocked to learn that the people on my friends list are *actually* my friends. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?!?!

sure there is the odd occasion i'll accept someone i've just met online, or i'll add someone whom i have intention of getting to know but i'll NEVER accept random people unless i'm feeling a little nosey or i have it on good authority that they are a good person (usually i'll have a look around, then delete them). however, after a couple months, if you bore me, annoy me or show nil interest in wanting to get to know me (in human being, face to face form) then you can be pretty sure that i'll delete you, if i haven't done so already.

if i'm not in the process of deciding if i want to delete someone (or "culling" as it's so pleasantly called) you'll probably find me thinking about removing my facebook account altogether. i'm sure i'll do it one day (although i heard that it's virtually impossible to do)

so, what exactly are my rules for facebook?

1. don't post anything you don't want anyone in the world to see. simple.
2. don't have an unlocked profile, lock that son of a b*tch down!
3. don't put pics up of you deep-throating cucumbers or photos with dirty hickys on your neck *cough davith*
4. don't add randoms... think of it as letting someone into your house. would you do that to someone you have just seen a photo of?
5. don't spend so much time on the damn thing. (still working on this)
6. don't stalk peoples pages (still working on this too)
7. don't keep the same password for a long time, especially if your ex knows it... (learnt this the hard way)
8. finally, don't be a tool - it's simple really!

so, do you have any rules for facebook? have you thought about deleting your account?

well... that's enough thinking for one day!

aza
x

whilst 'filling in some gaps' at work today, i checked out my online horoscope, considering the one in the paper was shite. just like everything else in the paper (ouch)

aza, stop being a bish

anyway... it appears that this month, is the BESTEST EVER for us cancerians

i read the horoscopes online by Susan Miller - they are in such awesome detail and are great to read if you don't mind all the pop up ads. the link to the cancer one is HERE. If you are any other star sign, just click around to find your page

let's have a look at some of the awesome things that were said for me!

May will be brimming with good news for you, with the biggest development that Uranus, the planet of surprise, is about to enter your solar tenth house of career on May 27 for the first time since 1927 to 1935. That's an astounding shift in anyone's book, because Uranus will help you affect an unusual career breakthrough in coming months. Uranus won't be ready to settle down in this professional area of your chart quite yet, for he will only make a short appearance for now, lasting a bit over two months, to give you a preview of what's to come in 2011 and beyond. Uranus rules whatever you'd never expect, so your career life is about to get very exciting.

GO URANUS GO!

You will likely enjoy this particular Mercury retrograde because it is touring your friendship house, and you will run into at least one old friend you haven't seen in a very long time. Going back to the past is always a good idea during a retrograde, and in this case, when you see your old friends, you will find more you can do together in the future.

this seems pretty spot on. i bumped into a friend recently who i've had a little falling out with and it was nice to catch up... see what happens hey?

Schedule lunches, dinners, parties, sports, or meetings, or other activities that are likely to lead you to more success. So rather than sit at your computer, doggedly churning out formal presentations and resumes, get out of the house and be open to making the acquaintance of new people. Join groups both on and offline. By all means, fix up your social networking page, but also make an effort to see new people face to face, dear Cancer. Start increasing your socializing from May 13 on, plus two weeks.

If your birthday falls on July 15, you will receive double blessings from this truly lovely new moon.

July 15 happens to be my birthday... fuck yeah! I've had a lot of fun socialising recently, i think that i should do it more often!

it also said some nice things about romance for me this month, but i'm going to keep that to myself :-)

do i believe in horoscopes? yeah kinda... i like them when they are good mainly! however ANYTHING that makes me thinking positively about the future is a winner in my books.

i hope that whatever sign you are, that things are looking awesome for you too. if not, too bad, it's MY time to shine right now!

aza
x

my dad...

i got this email whilst i was sleeping last night. dad lives in las vegas (he's an elvis impersonator)

I love www.azasays.com
……………..more ; more ; more and yes you should let people in and not be such a moody grump at times as you have a wonderful life and people around you who love you heaps

Dad XXXXXXXXXXXXX

aza
x

ps. he isn't an elvis impersonator, i was joking... he's a vegas showgirl!