how much do you love yourself...?
i went and say my psych last week, i think i'm starting to warm to him a little more. at first i found him very hard to warm to, i'd often talk over him - the funny thing is that i find he tells me everything i already know. i'm pleased that i'm in tune with myself enough to know where my faults are, however attempting to fix them is another story!
i think that this is my 4th visit to him in the last 6 months or so. i hadn't seen him for at least 3 months. it had been long enough since i saw him last for him to lose my file and forget shit about me... whenever he used to bring out the file, i used to try and look at what was in it. nothing but scribble filled bits of paper about me. doesn't bad writing make you a terrorist or a murderer or something like that?
anyway, back to my session, it seems that the ongoing theme with me is that i don't "love myself" enough (yes, this made me giggle when he said that too). come to think about it, i am my own worst enemy...
he told me said that i need to stop worrying what other people think of me, purely because i cant control it, so why bother worrying about it? he said to me that people will respect you more as someone who wont be fucked over, rather than a nice guy...
far too often am i worried about what some silly fuck/moron/tool (etc) things of me. it's a fact that in 100% of these cases, the people who don't think much of me actually don't know me at all... to hell with you all, you silly bints!
so stop being a control freak, stop trying to control situations that you have no power over... just let shit happen
(mental note to myself, read the above sentence when you are being a moron)
ugh, so much easier said than done!
aza
x
